How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
