that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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