I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
