Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
