Fuck appropriateness.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize
