the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
