dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
