you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
