I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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