just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
