You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
How external is "for external use only"?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
