i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
