I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
