singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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