grandma shit on top of the toilet
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I am available for nakedness
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
