I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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