Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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