he wants to bone in the snuggie
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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