Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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