yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Randomize
