remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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