Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
