I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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