Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
