a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
