this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
