I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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