hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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