i permit you to call me
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
