you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
