32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
