just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
i think my cat just said my name.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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