He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
