He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
