Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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