i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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