champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
