i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
