North Korea, Best Korea!
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
