She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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