is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just invented taco cereal.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
