we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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