So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
