That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
