I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
they need to just BURY HIM!
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
