Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
