my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
