Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
