I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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