the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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