Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
