Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
